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Battling shame and acknowledging needs

I’ve been so tired lately. I long for my submissive aspect and have been debating working with professional dominants to get my needs met more regularly. However, there a several roadblocks in the way of this:

  • Financial:  Regular sessions are costly no matter the source.  I want to be in a position to own a home of my own at some point.
  • Emotional:  I consider my submission to be a wonderful gift and one of the few aspects of myself I revere.  Separating sex and love is relatively easy.  Separating love from submission, from trust is much more difficult in my mind
  • Psychological:  I still have trouble getting past my own personal shame.  I feel as though I have utterly failed at attracting a dominant partner.  Not only that, but the last time I fell utterly in love was with a professional dominant who either didn’t or wasn’t ready to feel the same way about me.

I need help getting past these so I can get a strong need and desire met without tearing myself apart.  I can only hope resolution and wisdom will come in time.

-K

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