Battling shame and acknowledging needs
I’ve been so tired lately. I long for my submissive aspect and have been debating working with professional dominants to get my needs met more regularly. However, there a several roadblocks in the way of this:
- Financial: Regular sessions are costly no matter the source. I want to be in a position to own a home of my own at some point.
- Emotional: I consider my submission to be a wonderful gift and one of the few aspects of myself I revere. Separating sex and love is relatively easy. Separating love from submission, from trust is much more difficult in my mind
- Psychological: I still have trouble getting past my own personal shame. I feel as though I have utterly failed at attracting a dominant partner. Not only that, but the last time I fell utterly in love was with a professional dominant who either didn’t or wasn’t ready to feel the same way about me.
I need help getting past these so I can get a strong need and desire met without tearing myself apart. I can only hope resolution and wisdom will come in time.